Sooooo to begin with, I’m not really a bad person. no, not really. I never intended for any of this to happen. I never really intended to date him, start seeing him but i did. then it was really awesome but we weren’t dating so i almost ended up hooking up with my two best friends simutaniously. they was kept a pretty big secret, but then we broke up because i freaked out but i was miserable and we got back together and everything was happy, i thought i loved him and i told him. he has always loved me. he is the most loyal safe boyfriend i could ask for, but its boring. i’m not sexually attracted to him at all its awful, but then theres the other friend who is a boy. i find myself wanting to jump his fucking bones, we hang out and it takes so much self control, and lord knows he wants me, always has. soo the other day i just kind oflet myself kiss him, and nothing really happened but lord we were outside work, we work together, in his car at like 12 at night. but then he started sucking on my neck and earlobe and ive never felt so turned on in my life, and i dont even know what im doing! im a virgin! ive never wanted someone like this before! whats even more fucked up is that were going to cntinue this in secret, let things play out, and just pretend that things arent happening. let me have my !@#$# and he can have his prospective girlfriend and no one will ever know accept for us.