when i was younger, i used to have a best friend who lived across the street from me. i was pretty good friends with her little sister too, so whenever my best friend wasn’t around, i’d play with her sister. i got into this thing where i’d try to have sex with her, but it wasn’t quite right because i didn’t really know what sex was. i thought sex was when two people lay next to or on top of each other, naked, and make sounds like “ahhh” and “ohhh”. so, that’s what i got my best friend’s little sister to do. one time, we did it while her mom was downstairs, and when she called us and we went downstairs, the little sis was only wearing an undershirt and her undies, so i told her mom that we were playing hide-and-seek and she got hot so she took her clothes off.

i hope to god she never told her mom the truth.